Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Flicka and Kicking


The appeal is pretty obvious, in fact, it is right there in the name: Warrior Princess.  What better particular juxtaposition is available?  A shicksa in scant clothing with the sexy confidence that comes from being in total control.  Bare soft skin to offset some massive bleeding battle axe.  A woman in both a roll both feminizing and totally masculine.  It just doesn't get much better than that, and it is possibly the one pop-culture phenomenon we at BCHF simply could not do without.

Let me go ahead and get one of the most important heroines crossed off the list.  It would be highly unsavory not to discuss the archetype of the female warrior without paying homage to its undisputed modern incarnation, a name which scarcely needs be spoken completely.  Buffy.  Ancient warrior and high school student, Buffy Summers could not be a better female character if she was written by one.  Joss Whedon was able to fully illustrate the - albeit  fantasized - life of a young woman discovering herself without sounding misogynistic or like a Lifetime movie.  The Buffyverse is seared into my memory and as a woman I will always look to Willow, Cordelia, Tara, Anya and Buffy for positive affirmation.

If the cavalry comes, I hope to see some T and A. 
San of Princess Mononoke might just be my favorite bodacious battle babe.  My love for Miyazaki started young and is still going strong, but my favorite of his films remains Mononoke Hime, the first one I ever saw.  Keep it up, girl, red is a good color on you.




Weena was the first graphic novel I ever became seduced by.  A classic tale of birthright, dark fantasy, and creepy arranged marriage is plenty enough to satisfy my twelve year old mind.


Probably the most famous warrior princess of all time is Princess Leia.  You know I like things that make nerdy boys hot and bothered, and this damsel without distress is no exception.  There are two reasons that Return of the Jedi is my favorite film of the series, the first is that it was not directed by George Lucas, and the second is Carrie Fisher in slave gear.  Tragically, this whole Slave Leia things purportedly destroyed Carrie Fisher's self-worth by being made to portray the character as a blatant sex symbol, leading possibly to a number or bad habits.  I love Fisher, and have always been totally turned on by the Slave Leia scene, so it disappoints me tremendously to know how sick it made her to become that icon.
Here is a relatively creepy interpretation of Leia in the second - sorry - fifth Star Wars film.  This doesn't really illustrate a warrior princess, a pony princess, or even a warrior pony, just a flesh-toned strange thing.


One of the many marvelous things about the warrior princess genre is that it crosses space and time, and can be earthly or otherworldly, prim and poised or rough and ravaged.  Innocent, or ruthless.  Ancient, futuristic, with Western and non-Western influences, or from absolutely nowhere.

A pointer about armor:  In the field of lady warrior, it seems important to protect only the very softest areas and leave the internal organs exposed to the elements. If you must cover your breasts and thighs, make sure it is with a tight-fitting material.

A fighter babe of the 2-dimensional world is Sailor Moon.  Granted, her battle techniques are a little "deus ex machina" and frilly to the max, the vibe is going strong.  Glorified schoolgirl and ancient princess with a sex-drenched galactic posse and a kickin' toolkit.  Thanks again, Naoko Takeuchi. 



Okay, so Antoine Figua's 2004 interpretation of Kind Arthur wasn't all that awesome.  I am a descendent of Sir Thomas Mallory, so I am pretty hard to please when it comes to re-hashed Arthurian Legends.  That being said, the best part of it was the quasi Maori "Gaelic" native interpretation of Guinevere played by Kiera Knightly.
Dita Von Teese here illustrates a large porion of the appeal of the whole "Warrior Princess" thing, and that is babes with weapons.



Indeed, bitches can fuck you up with more than just their viscous words.  They are far more likely to go ape shit at the drop of a hat and are less predictable perhaps than a seasoned Samurai warrior.


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